1. Your first time is going to hurt when you “pop the cherry”/”break the hymen”

The hymen is a thin ring of membrane (cells) around the edge of the vagina. Some people have a thinner membrane and the first time they have intercourse there will be no pain. Some people have a thicker membrane and may experience some pain. If a person is aroused enough, it shouldn’t be that painful to get past the hymen.

2. Your first time is going to be magical.

No, not that kind of magical. Like, emotional staring into each other’s eyes and listening to Ariana Grande “The Way” in the background. Maybe it will be like that. Maybe it won’t. Maybe the condom is difficult to get on or the position is weird or you fart in the middle of it. Just like every other human activity, sex has the potential to get awkward or silly.

3. The only kind of sex is penis in vagina (PIV) sex

Does this mean that every lesbian or gay man is still a virgin? The qualifications for sex are decided by the persons partaking in the action. This means you decide what sex means for you.

4. Men always want sex and women rarely do.

This is SO FALSE. People have different levels of sexual desires, regardless of their gender. Sometimes men don’t feel like having sex. Sometimes women really want to have sex. The only time it’s acceptable to engage in sexual activity is when all parties want it.

5. Using two condoms at the same time increases protection.

TOTALLY the opposite! Using two condoms at once creates friction and can lead to tearing, increasing the risk for pregnancy and STIs. Just one condom at a time!

6. If you have sex with someone you’re not dating you don’t respect yourself.

Your genitals are not portals through which respect passes. Is it important to check in on your emotional state before engaging in sexual activity? Of course. Is it also important to not care what other people say? Duh. Is it also important to not shame anyone else for their sexual choices? Yes!

7. You will definitely have sex one day.

People who identify as asexual do not (or rarely) have sexual urges. They may go their entire lifetime without engaging in sexual activity. And that’s okay!

8. Hormonal birth control is bad for you.

The symptoms of hormonal birth control vary from person to person. Some people react well to it, some people don’t.

9. Hormonal birth control/Plan B/having an abortion can risk your chances of being able to get pregnant when you’re older.

While such medications and procedures may mess up your cycle for a bit, they have no long-term lasting medical impacts.

10. If I miss my period once I’m pregnant

Your period won’t even begin to regulate until about two years after you’ve started menstruating. Even then, your period can be affected by stress, changes in diet, and medication. If you’re late on your period check all your symptoms before you jump to any conclusions.

11. Women have vaginas and men have penises.

Cis men (those who identify with the gender assigned to them at birth) have penises and cis women have vaginas, but trans men may have vaginas and trans women may have penises. Either way, it’s important to use trans-inclusive language when discussing sex and the outcomes of sex. Trans men can get pregnant!

12. No mention of the clitoris.

It feels like in sex ed the male orgasm is talked about (it’s crucial for reproduction) but the female orgasm is never mentioned (not necessary for reproduction, but still fun for everyone involved!)(Everyone knows this song is about the clit, right??)

13. Those terrifying photos of advanced STIs.

STIs (sexually transmitted infections) are no joke, and they are scary, but they are not the end of the world. The pictures your teacher might show you are very advanced cases. If you even contract an STI, your skin won’t immediately look like that, which is why if you suspect you might have an STI you should get blood work done as soon as possible. Nowadays we have some goodgood modern medicine which can either get rid of the STI completely or make it manageable so that you never look like that awful poster. But to avoid all the worry, just remember to always use a condom.

14. Sex feels better without a condom.

First off, this is one of those things that’s entirely subjective. There’s a lot more to sex than just the penetration, and even so, the jury is still out on raw dogging. Besides, you know what feels better than unprotected sex? The peace of mind that comes from not being worried if you’ve gotten a girl pregnant or checking to see if there’s weird discharge.  Always wear a condom!

15. The idea that “penetrate” is a totally normal word to use when you’re talking about sex.

Featured image by Katie Tegtmeyer, used under a creative commons license.