I was “less developed” in the dating world. It seemed like everyone was getting into relationships and having sex except for me. I felt a little left out. All the popular girls were talking about their sexual encounters in the locker rooms and I had nothing to share. Miraculously, I started dating a friend of mine when I was a sophomore—my first boyfriend ever! Finally, I got my chance to be like everyone else.
We didn’t wait to have sex for very long. I remember not wanting to hold back because I thought, “I waited fifteen-and-a-half years of my life. Why should I wait longer?” The house was empty. We took a condom from his dad’s bedside drawer and had sex in my boyfriend’s bedroom.
And that was it. After we were finished, I didn’t feel happy. I didn’t feel satisfied and honestly I didn’t really feel anything at all. I didn’t linger around much after it happened because it was a Friday in November and I wanted to go to the high school football game (we were playing our rival team). He lived near the high school so I took the short walk by myself to campus and cried the entire time. I knew before, during, and after that it wasn’t quite right and I cried because I realized too late that I knew I should have waited to have sex.
He and I dated for far longer than we should have. In the end, we couldn’t stand each other and we only put up with each other because we thought we had to after being intimate. It ended in a pretty messy and drawn-out breakup. But finally after all that, it was over.
When I was a senior, I started dating a boy from my calculus class during spring semester. That time, we waited until we were ready and it was so right! We did everything right and had a plan: we talked about it, we got condoms beforehand, and we even set up a date! Everything went so perfectly, it was like a dream (pretty much exactly like Teenage Dream by Katy Perry). I think the biggest reason why I regret not waiting with my first boyfriend is because I should have waited for this guy. We had the quintessential summer-before-college romance and it was awesome. This time it was romance with fireworks and falling angels!
Thinking back on it, I realize I had to screw up before I got it right but that doesn’t mean that everyone should. So if you’re thinking, “I should have sex because everyone else is having sex,” you might want to think again. While you’re waiting for the right person, there could be someone out there who is waiting for you too. And just because you started having sex doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it. You can decide to stop if you feel it isn’t right and wait until you’re really ready.
Check out this list of questions you can ask yourself before taking the plunge on starting your sexual life and find out what other teens think about waiting. Click here to read the story of a teen who chose abstinence after she’d already had sex. Tell us what you think.