What Is Virginity?
Krystal Barragan Krystal Barragan July 28, 2014

What Is Virginity?


What Is Virginity?

Virginity is talked about a lot, but we never really get a clear-cut definition of what it is. Girls are usually taught that it‘s something special to hold on to. While some people, especially guys, get congratulated for losing it. Being or not being a virgin doesn’t make you a good or bad person.


And whether you’ve been told you have to keep it or lose it, it’s OK if you choose to have sex and it’s OK if you choose to wait. I decided to write about what virginity is to clear up any confusion.

Virginity is…

Not just for girls. When most people talk about virginity, they often associate it with girls, but in reality anyone can be a virgin. Deciding when the right time to have sex is can be a big deal for everyone, no matter what your gender is.


Not about who can lose it first. Having sex is not a contest or about who gets to say, “I’m not a virgin” first. You can choose to have sex whenever you feel ready, and that time can be at any time.giphy-2

Subjective! There is no real definition of virginity. A lot of people say they are virgins if they haven’t had penile-vaginal sex. But same-sex couples never have penile-vaginal sex, and that doesn’t mean they will be virgins forever.

The definition of virginity is up to you and your partner. Some people might consider themselves no longer virgins the first time they have oral sex, the first time they have anal sex or the first time they have an orgasm with a partner. It is important for partners to talk about what it means to them, just so everyone is clear on a topic that can be very confusing.


“Virginity” is a word that has to be defined by you. It means something different for every person, and that is OK, because you just have to find what works best for you. Comment below and tell us what virginity means to you!

Featured image by Joey Gannon, used under a Creative Commons license.

Krystal Barragan

Krystal Barragan

Krystal Barragan is a 17-year-old high school senior, who is excited to help other teens by giving them information about sexual health and sexuality. She's a Sex, Etc. contributor.

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